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Gentle Closings: How to Say Goodbye to Someone You Love
By Ted Menten. Running Press, Phila. (11th printing), 1991.
[159pp.]
Reviewed by: Meg Wickes, Hospice Volunteer.
The author has been known for many years as the "Teddy Bear Man." Having made
bears to give to children in hospitals, delivering them with accompanying
stories, written over a dozen bear stories, Ted Menten has branched out. He
works, as a volunteer with children and adults who are terminally ill.
In this small volume, which fits comfortably in your hand, he tells the
reader what the children have taught him. We get a feeling for the author's
thoughtful and caring approach to final moments. From his Preface:
Gentle Closings
. . . Since we are traveling together, I
thought I'd share what I've learned with you. You don't have to believe what I
believe, or question what I question, or even come to any of the same
conclusions. We'll just walk together and talk things over.
I believe
that there is a supreme being, a creator, because when I look around at the
wonder and beauty of life, I can find no other reasonable explanation.
I like the idea of prayer. I think it is more sane to talk to someone else than
it is to talk to yourself. (At first I had a problem with unanswered prayers
until little Susan, age seven, explained it to me: "That's simple. God's answer
was no.")
I like ghosts and reincarnations, too. A mystic once
described by grandmother as an aura that followed me and protected me. That
seems right enough; it's what she did before she died. I support recycling, so I
suppose it is only natural to accept reincarnation. I might like to come back as
something really special and magical like a butterfly or a teddy bear.
Heaven is a good idea, too. I like reunions; I like all that hugging and kissing
and tears of joy when old friends get back together.
I believe that
love gives the best return on investment.
I believe that truth is like
a straight line-the shortest distance between two points.
I believe in
second chances, and third chances, and fourth chances.
I believe that
listening is essential to loving.
I believe in grief and sorrow and
wailing and tears flowing like Niagara Falls. Tears mean something. They mean
we're alive and feeling.
I believe that death is a friend, a fabulous
dancer who will twirl me away in my last waltz.
I believe in taking the
time to say goodbye and not putting it off until another day. Because more than
anything,
I believe in love.
Ted Menten
Spring, 1991
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